Next life
by FictionInformer
Summary: In the next life, Morrigan was sure her soul would find it's way back to Lavellan, and his would find her, but right now, they both had to live in the present where life just wouldn't be kind to them.


Morrigan would label herself as practical, and much too smart to believe in such silly things like soulmates and love at first sight.

She supposed that she believed in love, the love she had for Daylen was real, and the love she had come to have for the son they shared was also real, but she had fallen in love with Daylen, the journey of the blight had brought them together in a way that she had never planned for, even the love she had for Kieran was not something that had just appeared overnight.

Then she met Inquisitor Lavellan, the Dalish elf had stolen her practical nature the moment she met teal colored eyes.

Morrigan had learned long ago how to hide her emotions behind a mask, and it was as natural as breathing, but she could see it on Lavellan's face that he had also felt something, something that connected them both in a way that Morrigan couldn't even begin to explain.

Nor was she sure that she wanted to.

Lavellan played coy with all of his answers, clever to keep her at a distance, and continue his playing of the grand game that Orlais was known for, but she could see the emotions playing behind his eyes, the unknown pull between them felt stronger the longer Morrigan was near him, it was the startling thought that she could spend eternity at his side that made her feel the need to get away from him.

It wasn't until later as she watched Lavellan dance with Iron Bull that she realized she was already too far gone.

An impossible notion, but all she felt as she watched the two dance was white hot jealousy with a side of possessiveness that she had never known.

When he had saved Celene, Morrigan had asked for permission from the woman to go with him, to join the inquisition, and helped the man who had saved her life, Celene had given in, allowing her to go to the Inquisition.

Morrigan had made herself a promise before she went that she would spend as little time around Lavellan as possible, if she was near him, she would want him, even more than she already did.

Of course, she should have known that Lavellan would eventually come looking for her, and she had glanced along the blooming garden to see Lavellan talking with Kieran, the Dalish was smiling as he talked to her son, the sight froze her to her spot.

She had only ever seen Daylen with Kieran, the sight was one of her favorite memories, but this, seeing Lavellan talking with Kieran, lightly ruffling his hair, and Morrigan wasn't sure if the ones with Daylen meant as much anymore.

Morrigan was forced to shove all of that back as she moved to speak with the Inquisitor, and send Kieran off to continue his studies.

There was a fondness in Lavellan eyes that didn't leave even when he looked away from Kieran to Morrigan, but the tone of the fondness did change, she could see that, it was something more, something deeper, when he looked at her.

They both ignored it.

They both knew better.

She had Daylen.

He had Iron Bull.

They both had no business being together, feeling this way, still, one late night she found herself on the balcony in his room, waiting as the male came in, almost starting to get ready for bed wen he saw her.

"Morrigan." Many men spoke her name before, love, lust, anger, happiness, sadness, she had heard every tone of emotion, but none could speak her name the way Lavellan did, as if the sight of her gave him every emotion possible.

Her voice sounded much the same when she spoke his name, the elven name had been foreign on her tongue, but the shiver she saw run across Lavellan's shoulders was enough to tell her that it had been said well enough.

He stepped out onto the balcony, a hand reaching out to take one of hers, and Morrigan looked at her hand in his, it looked like it belonged there.

It only confirmed what they both knew, but both refused to say the words out loud, if they said the words, then there was no more pretending, so neither of them spoke.

Morrigan glided her hands up over Lavellan's, then up his arms until both of her hands rested on his chest. Warmth came off of him that chased the cold away, his hands resting on her waist, and his head lowered a little bit, close enough that she could feel his breath against her lips.

Their lips so close, his bottom lip almost touching her top lip, so close to crossing the line they had both drawn, but they hesitated

One kiss was all it would take, Iron Bull, Daylen, neither would matter once they crossed this line. It wouldn't be something they could take back or stop.

How much had they both put into their relationship, how much would they both be willing to pay for this?

The moment passed before she could even weight the options, his lips moving to press to her forehead. "We shouldn't." He said.

"I know." Morrigan agreed.

He wasn't hers.

She wasn't his.

Not in this life.

They both pulled back from each other, gold meeting teal, there was pain in her chest to let go of him, and she didn't know how to move on past this.

She loved him, she might always love him, but they had both chosen different paths, she had Daylen and Kieran, they were her choice, it still didn't make walking away from him any easier, the chill that settled in her chest was one that would never leave her, she knew it.

Morrigan dreamed about kissing him that night, she dreamed about the feeling of his warm lips on her, the way the world would have no doubt anchored itself to him, making the world have more meaning, and sense than she had ever known.

Reality felt like a nightmare when she woke up to realize it was only a dream.

She watched from afar as the elf fell even more in love with Bull, she hated watching them kiss behind the tavern, she watched as Bull kissed Lavellan's forehead, and the worst was to watch them stand together, hand in hand, talking with Cole.

They looked like a family, she was happy to see Lavellan happy, but she was jealous to see what she wanted happening with someone else.

Daylen was supposed to be here for her and Kieran, but he wasn't.

Morrigan swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked away from the sight of Bull, Lavellan, and Cole, it was too painful, but then she glanced back to see Lavellan looking at her, a small amount of comfort coming from his stare because as much as they moved a part, as much as he loved Bull, apart of him would always be locked to Morrigan.

They were born to be together, but separated by fate to fulfill destinies that couldn't be allowed to connect.


End file.
